Posts Tagged ‘Stupid’
It’s A Miracle!
Aug
29
2009
Imagine my surprise! I sit down to my breakfast and get ready to dig in. There, burnt into my pancakes is a mirror image of myself staring directly up at me! Not Jesus… not the Virgin Mary… just good ol’ Steve.
It was awesome… I could hardly believe what I was seeing.
Oh, and boy am I delicious! Especially with maple syrup.
Lard Tunderin’!
Aug
07
2009
Tonight we had quite a little thunderstorm here in the greater Moncton area.
Donna and I decided we were heading to Costco and the skies looked a little ominous. While we were in Costco the storm hit. You could hear the rain and hail pound on the metal roof of the building. As we headed toward the checkouts, Donna asked if I would go get the vehicle and bring it closer to the door. I headed toward the door and had to force my way past all the other customers who wouldn’t even step outside. “What are you all made of? Sugar? What’s a little rain?” Well, I stepped outside and got pummeled by rain drops the size of my fists. I ran to our vehicle only to discover I was not only at the wrong vehicle, I was past my ankles in water. 
When I finally got to our vehicle I was soaked completely to the skin. I was outside maybe 30 seconds.
When we got home we discovered quite an accumulation of pea-sized hailstones all over our deck. No damage, but pretty cool to see.
We spent the next couple of hours playing cards and listening to thunder.
Did She Mean To Say That?
Jun
23
2009
We are rolling out a new phone system where I work. Tonight is the big cut over night and one of the vendors made a mistake that caused a level of service to be missing for a few hours. The employee sent us a message apologizing for the mistake.
“I do apologize for any incontinence this may cause your organization.”
Did she mean the opposite of “continuity“, as incontinuity? Or was she just trying to say she hopes she didn’t scare the shit out of us! 
ZYX – Backing Talkwards
Mar
31
2009
My buddies at SWT just finished up a month of posts starting with the letters of the alphabet, in sequential order. I thought it was a pretty neat idea and thought I might try it myself. It must have been quite a challenge, because as the month wore on, they found it ever more difficult to find subjects for their posts. The toughest letters are the ones at the end of the alphabet. I made the mistake of offering a “hey, you shoulda done this” comment and Phillip delegated the final letter to me. Here’s what I came up with… a silly zed-infested string of nonsensical sentences depicting a late night snack of someone stirred from their slumber.
The alphabet theme was such a good idea, I think I’ll try it. I won’t steal their idea directly though… I’ll start with Z and work my way backwards down to A. Stay tuned during the month of April (shit, if I started with A then April Fool’s Day could have been my first post!)
12 or 13…
Mar
25
2009
… the name of my last post? (Go ahead, check it out.)
… the number of days since my last post? (About average lately, actually.)
… the number of posts in my backyard fence? (Just a guess.)
… the number of backyards I can see from my backyard? (Another guess.)
… the number of weeks since I started my diet? (… not many more pounds than that as well.)
… the age will guarantee you 5 to 10? (Where did that come from?)
… the total hours sleep I got last weekend? (Directly correlated to the number of hours I spent painting the kitchen.)
… the number of months that have at least 29 days in them? (Made you think twice on that one, right?)
… the seating capacity at the table for the Last Supper? (Always room for one more!)
… the times my wife has told me she likes that Cheerios “It says ‘Shut up, Steve’” commercial? (Seems like a lot more, actually.)
… the amount of snow, in inches, of our worst storm this winter season, so far? (Not too bad, but we had a lot of them.)
… the number of items you can expect when you order a dozen of something at a bakery? (Baker’s dozen? Get it?)
… the number of questions in this blog post? (Thought you’d never ask.)
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