Posts Tagged ‘Funny’
The Blonde Mortician
Aug
18
2010
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde Mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue suit.
She gives the blonde Mortician a blank cheque and says, “I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.”
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the blonde Mortician, “Whatever this cost, I am very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I am very grateful. How much did you spend?”
To her astonishment, the blonde Mortician presents her with the blank cheque. “There is no charge,” she says.
“No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.”
“Honestly, ma’am,” the blonde says, ”it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice . . . SO – I just switched the heads.”
The Ballad of Steven Slater
Aug
11
2010
The internet and social media is a great thing. This guy quit his job in a grand way on Monday and by Tuesday the internet is a-buzz with Facebook pages and Youtube videos and blog postings filled with opinions, jokes, support and criticism of the way that Steven Slater exited the situation, the plan, and his job. He’s become somewhat of a folk hero, actually, and that’s been part of the debate flowing around out there.
But… we’ve all been there, haven’t we? How many of you have been simply sick and tired of the bullshit and bottled it up, pushed it down, or drank it away? “Take This Job and Shove It”, “Working for the Weekend”, “We’re Not Gonna Take It”… these and many more songs had become anthems for the average schmo longing to get off the dreadmill (<== intentional typo), speak our minds, and set the world straight. Steven Slater did what many fantasize about doing. He didn’t snap and climb a water tower with a rifle. He delivered a pointed EffYou to the self-centered sumbitch that disrespected him and everyone around him because the world revolves around his whims.
In any event… Steven Slater. Here’s your song: (Warning… contains explicit support for Steven’s behaviour and even more explicit language in support of Steven’s behaviour.)
Steven Slater: My Hero!
Aug
10
2010
If you are going to quit your job, this is the way to do it!
From CBC.ca:
“According to the New York Times, one of the 100 or so passengers on board stood up to retrieve baggage from the overhead compartment before the plane had reached a complete stop and did not heed Slater’s request to remain seated.
Slater, a career flight attendant, then approached the passenger, who continued to pull the baggage from the compartment, striking Slater on the head with it in the process.
When the passenger refused to apologize, the paper reported, Slater unleashed a string of expletives via the public-address system, deployed the inflatable evacuation chute, grabbed a beer from the beverage cart, yelled "It’s been great!" and slid down and went to his car.”
Read more: http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2010/08/10/us-jet-blue-flight-attendant.html
Pruning Commercial?
Jul
29
2010
This kind of made me do a double take… and made me laugh.
Sorry for the poor quality… my iPhone pointed at the TV can’t perform miracles.
There’s not exactly an abundance of subtlety in this commercial. Just in case the viewers were too thick to get it, they ensured that the bushes would trim right as the ladies’ pelvic regions passed by the plant.
I’m surprised there wasn’t a fourth bush with ALL the leaves removed!
I mentioned this to a couple of folks at work who said this is the short version of the commercial. So I checked YouTube and found this:
Mow the Lawn. Wow… More subtleties here. Pay close attention around 54 seconds. The young lady is carrying a hairless cat.
There should be more commercials this inventive out there! Hilariously tacky!
Is It Too Hot?
Jul
19
2010
We’ve been enjoying some consistently hot weather here in the Moncton area now for about 4 weeks. My wife sent me this picture today that illustrates quite clearly how we often feel about it!
(Thanks Donna!)
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