Archive for December, 2009

We’ll Rant and We’ll Roar

Dec 08 2009

My good buddy Kevin has let go with another rant in response to my earlier video post featuring a skit from This Hour Has 22 Minutes. In the video they expand on the growing fad of cloning popular TV shows such as CSI into various different cities with different casts. They take the popular show Flashpoint and do a send-off of it “Flashpoint St. John’s”. I thought the exaggerated Newfoundland accent and mannerisms came off as funny. Kevin’s take on it, however, was slightly less accepting. For those of you that didn’t catch it in the comments, here it is, in full:

Ya know what pisses me to no end?

Let’s start with number one. In all me days of living, scratch that, existing on the rock, not once have I heard anyone one say “Lard Tundering” or “Stay where yere at” and so on. It’s not that it’s never been said. I’m sure some poor sod has let part of it slip from time to time in a drunken stupor and not realizing that he is classing him or herself with the mainland equivelent of what’s taken for Newfoundland phrasing and dialect. Even in day to day conversation, letting go with a line, as what mainlanders have come to believe are some of the main catch phrases often heard in every port along our shores, like that would have the fella standing next to ya look at you kinda of funny and ask, “What? What da F*&% are you talking about, b’y?” No one I know from from any part of the Newfoundland planet speaks like that and what’s worse is now we’ve got a few displaced personages from our rocky shores (maybe) passing themselves off as the average day-to-day Newfoundlanders. These individuals are seeking to call themselves comedians, and with funding from the purses of the Canadian public pouring into the CBC, they’ve been allowed to put them on our airwaves, and subject us to the uncomedic ramblings of poor writing, the imagination of a fruitfly and the wit and wisdom of stale bread. I cannot find any jocularity in what these individuals call comedic sketches. This hour . . . and the bottom of the barrel cast are a true insult to all that is Newfoundland. They are as limp as a dish rag with a quick line and their approach to comedy leaves you savagely hunting for the remote in an effort to quickly change the said channel. What are we thinking letting these morons pass themselves off as “True Newfoundlanders”? If this is what we are now presenting to the world as a glimpse of what the common everyday variety Newfoundlander is like, then we’re in big trouble.
Not only would the unsuspecting mainland viewer take this a reasonable facsimile of what he might expect should he venture out of the confines of upper Canadiana to the shores of the far east, he would almost immediately think to himself that the Newfoundland idiot he’s been told that exists on these shores is most certainly alive and decaying at the same time. We have allowed these throwbacks to the whoopie cushion, to box us all together in a tragic farce lasting 30 minutes a week and growing and blanketing our combined faces to the viewing world, saying, “This is us, wadda ya think? Cathy Jones needs to find another line of work, the other just need to stop.
As sad as it is, the newfie joke, lately, has been on all of us.

Did I say that out loud?

 
4 Comments

Posted by Steve at 1:38 pm, Dec 8, 2009

 

Flashpoint St. John’s

Dec 05 2009

This is hilarious!
YouTube Preview Image

It’s from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, but I found it here.

 
6 Comments

Posted by Steve at 1:00 am, Dec 5, 2009

 

Googled On GoogleMaps!

Dec 04 2009

A couple of months ago I posted that I noticed a GoogleMaps car recording the area of Newfoundland that I was vacationing in. Well I noticed a CBC.ca news article today reporting that the pictures from that area were published.

In their words:

Street View is an online application that provides a 360-degree ground-level view of cities, compiled from photos taken by Google. The company has been collecting images of Canadian cities since 2007, with the help of vehicles that drive through neighbourhoods with cameras mounted on them.

I checked out the area on GoogleMaps and sure enough, I found myself on there, out in the driveway rifling through the back of my truck. I created a little slideshow of what I found for your amusement.

For those of you reading this in Facebook, check out this link to my site to see the pics.

 
3 Comments

Posted by Steve at 1:37 am, Dec 4, 2009

 

Tiger Woods Family Photo

Dec 03 2009

Tiger-Family-Photo

Thanks Paul!

 
3 Comments

Posted by Steve at 8:25 am, Dec 3, 2009

 

The Sirens Are Screaming

Dec 02 2009

traffic-stop… and the fires are howling way down in the valley tonight. There’s a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye and a blade shining oh so bright.

Funny sometimes when little events from one’s past sneak back in to the forefront of your memory. I was driving home from work yesterday, listening to my iPhone and a song came on that I hadn’t heard in quite some time. It was Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf and it brought back to mind something that happened to me many, MANY years ago, way back when I worked at McDonald’s on Topsail Road in St. John’s.

I was working the close shift. As the manager on duty when the store closed, I had to ensure all the accounting was balanced and the cash counted. The cash on hand plus the cash float minus the bank deposits from the earlier shifts had to add up to the register totals. The store closed at 2 am and by 2:30-ish I was ready to go. I rushed out to the parking lot, which was pitch black by that hour of the night, jumped into my car and turned on the radio. My assorted tape was cued up to Bat Out Of Hell, about two-thirds of the way through. I cranked the stereo and popped the clutch, tearing through the parking lot. When I got to the entrance, I didn’t slow down, taking a right directly on the empty streets. Red light, right turn. I never hit the brakes and I was shifting gears. Another stop sign, right turn, and again a stop sign and a left turn, each time passing a quick glance to ensure the way was clear but not slowing down. I lived close by so I was home before the song ended. I pulled up to the curb and sat there, finishing the song. In my mind, I was the original Canadian Idol as I belted out the last lines of the song, still cranked at top volume. “Like a bat out of heeeeeeeelllllllllllll ooooo..oooo..ooooo..ooooo.”

Just as the song ended, I shut the car off quickly, pulled the keys and jumped out of the car bumping directly into the chest of an officer from the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary. His car was parked directly behind mine, but the only lights on were his park lights.

He had a huge smile on his face as he rested a firm grip on my shoulder. “How about stopping for a few stop signs next time you drive home from work?”

I managed an awkward “thanks” and walked into the house, thankful I wasn’t carrying a mitt full of tickets.

 
3 Comments

Posted by Steve at 6:29 pm, Dec 2, 2009