A Newfie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks,’ the doctor instructed the Newfie.
‘The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.’

When the Newfie returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 pounds!
‘Why, that’s amazing!’ said the doctor. ‘Did you follow my
instructions?’
The Newfie nodded … ‘I’ll tell you, though, by Jaysus, I t’aut I was going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.’
‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.
‘No, from the fuckin ‘skippin’!’