You know how you can pee even when you don’t really have to? Like, when you go to the doctor and (s)he wants a urine sample… you don’t really have to pee, but you go into the washroom and you are able to fill the cup anyway?

I’m like that with poop.

My wife and I went for a short drive today. As is customary for us, we went to Tim Horton’s for a coffee. We pulled into the drive thru behind several other cars and for a while it seemed like nobody was going to pull in behind us.

Me: I hate being last in the drive thru lane. It makes me feel like a loser. You know, it’s like everyone else has better things to do than waste their time in such a long line.

Just then another car pulled in behind us. I pointed at them and started chanting, “Loser! Loser!”. As another car pulled in behind the first car, I chanted again. “Loser!”

We continued inching along, gabbing away. Suddenly, I hear “Hi, can I take your order please?”. It sounded a little faint and was coming from behind us. I had passed the speaker!

Wifey: Loser!

I couldn’t argue with her.

Thanks Gerry and Cindy!

With Thanksgiving not long past and Christmas fast approaching, it’s hard not to think about life, love, and family. Sometimes we get lost in the hustle of everyday life, selfish indulgences, and career demands and we forget about all that’s important.

Occasionally we need to step back and remind ourselves what it’s all about. Remember why you draw each breath. Think about what makes you happy. Not just the kind of “I’m feeling good right now” happy, the general deep-down contentment of being truly happy and comfortable. Think about it… take 30 seconds or so and then continue.

Are you back? Did you think about it? Did you remember that you shouldn’t take it for granted? Did you realize that caring for the ones you love is more than not hurting them. Caring for those you love involves nurturing them. It involves giving more than you expect to take. It means making them feel more important than your selfish desires. That means NOTHING is more important. That’s right…. not the hockey game, not a night out with da boys, not getting a laugh from a blog post.

I’m a joker. I quite often shoot my mouth off and check for damage in the reaction. While always meant in good fun, I want to ensure to you, my many (ha) friends and readers, that there is no hidden meaning behind any of it. As a prime example. I tease my wife and son… make jokes, playful comments, dry retorts. My darling wife is the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, the most patient (being married to me for 10 years is testament to that), and by far the most beautiful. My son is strong, handsome, smart, witty, and charismatic. Nothing I ever say is intended to hurt them. But sometimes the stuff I say does hurt them. Sometimes the stuff I don’t say hurts them. Sometimes I’m an asshole.

I know I’m a lucky man. Do you know how lucky you are?

My wife and I went for a drive yesterday evening.  I don’t know how it started, but somehow the following conversation happened:

Wifey: You’re lucky to have me.
Me: Why do you say that.
Wifey: When we first met, you didn’t think anyone would want you.
Me: Really? I thought that was you?
Wifey: No, no, no. I knew I could have my choice of men.
Me: So, I guess you are trying to say that when we met, I was desperate, but you weren’t?
Wifey: Yes, that’s what I’m saying.
Me: (smugly) Hmmm… that explains a lot.

(pause while the hamster turns in the wheel)

Wifey: Asshole!

All in good fun, of course. Right sweetie?