In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming stories. Thank you to Cindy, who happens to be one of those people, but who also thought to send me this one too!

Four thousand six hundred and eighty two kilometers.

That’s how many kilometers are on my 2003 Yamaha motorcycle. I’ve owned it since it was new, but never really got to use it much. I had plenty of opportunity, but I guess the romance of owning the bike was greater than the actual riding turned out to be. I was hoping my darling wifey would like riding with me, but it turns out that taking a back seat on my motorcycle didn’t exactly turn her crank. Going riding one my own or with a bunch of other folks I barely know has limited appeal for me. So…

I loved the bike, but everything has but a time. Yesterday, we traded it in on a 2008 Arctic Cat 650 H1 TRV. It’s a two seater ATV and I already know she likes to ride one of those, thanks to her brudder Jim and her udder brudder Jerry. We have borrowed theirs when we have made our various trips to Newfoundland and it is something we both truly enjoy.

I had ‘er out yesterday for a little jaunt… powerful, responsive and smooth. I like it… should have bought one of these five years ago.

Well… now and then you come across something totally original and imaginative. I’m not exactly sure if this is one of those things, but it certainly is hilarious!

Check out these YouTube vids from The Motion Show:

There’s the legend of Donnie Dumphy, Newfoundland Dirtbike Rapper and his latest album “I Loves Doing Wheelies” with the hits “Your Mudder Had It Coming”, “Ankle Bracelet, Schmankle Bracelet”, and “Brenda’s Got A Few Things Wrong With Her But That’s Alright”.

Then there’s The Newfoundland Scam. Worth Watching too!

Super stuff! Thanks Nadine!

Where is my utility knife? I’m sure it’s under here somewhere. Ah, there it is! Ok, now what did I do with that measuring tape? I had it just a minute ago.

I’m terrible for laying stuff down and forgetting it. I can’t begin to tell you how often I’ve left the house only to remember I’d left the shopping list on the table because I’d laid it down to put on my shoes. Then when I go back in, I come back out with my list, but don’t have my keys. Couple this absentmindedness with a tendency to allow clutter to build up and you’ve got a recipe for never, ever finding a damn thing ever, at least not when you need it. On top of that, I’ve developed an ability to sometimes remember where in the clutter a specific utensil or tool is. So, when I do clean up and subsequently need that thing-a-ma-jiggy, it’s gone. Oh, shit. Where did I put that thing?

Last weekend, I decided to clean out my shed. I have a 10 by 16 shed in my backyard, but I could only reasonably use about 6 square feet of it. I literally could not step inside the door. After about 6 hours, I could actually see enough of the floor to know it needed sweeping! And, I only threw out three garbage bags of junk.

Nice. Neat. Organized.

Will I ever find anything ever again? I doubt it.

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.

He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband, “You need a piece of tail.”

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, “Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.”

Thanks Connie.

I learned…

• that putting a piece of cheap rubber hose on a hot copper pipe in a bonfire makes the fire turn all kinds of freaky colours.
• that I need to keep my eyes peeled for wildlife when driving on Route 126, north of Moncton. (We saw a deer, a porcupine, and a moose on a 20 minute drive.)
• that a porcupine doesn’t run very fast.
• that the rear axle of a 2008 Hyundai Sante Fe does not clear the noggin of a porcupine galloping in full stride.
• that just when I think my pool game is stabilizing and consistent, it isn’t.
• that I don’t always know when to keep my trap shut.
• that a 37-inch flat screen Sharp Aquos TV does not fit into the same stand that a 36-inch tube Panasonic does.
• that my wife doesn’t like it when I cut holes in TV stands. (Actually, I learned that the last time I cut pieces out of our TV stand.)
• that landscaping bricks are 16 pounds each and I’ve been really overloading my utility trailer since I bought it.
• that the phrase “give him an inch and he’ll take a mile” applies to 17-year-old teenage boys and 41-year-old adolescent men. (Ask my wife… I think she’ll agree!)

What have you learned this week?