Dec 06 2007
You Love Me, Right?
When a loved one starts a conversation with the words “You love me, right?” you know you have to prepare yourself for the worst.
That’s how my son started a phone conversation with me this evening. He had gotten his driver’s license a week ago and now he is terrorizing the sidewalks of Moncton. It snowed big time here a couple of days ago and you can imagine the stream of possible revelations heading my way when I heard those words on the other end of the phone.
“You love me, right?”
Yes, of course I do. Now please tell me what happened. Crunched fenders… insurance rates… expensive repairs… speeding tickets… broken glass… global warming… For GOD’S sake, PLEASE tell me what happened!
“Well, I, uhm… me and Brendan, like, uhm, we were going to Shopper’s to get some cold medicine, for Mom, and uhm, like, on our way, we, like, you know, dropped in for Devon, and well… we were driving back, and like, uhm, we were being really careful, but like we were on Mountain Road, right? and you know, we were just driving along and…”
Please just tell me what happened. Before I melt into a puddle and short circuit my cell phone. Please.
“Ok, well, uhm, anyways, we were driving along and, like, there was a piece of ice in the road, right?, and there was no way to drive around it, and like, I uhm, didn’t want to slam on the brakes for a chunk of ice, and I, uhm, didn’t really KNOW it was a chunk of ice, it like, you know, looked like snow, but anyways, we hit it and like it made a bad noise and we like kept driving around but the brake pedal started to like, you know, feel funny, and well, then a light came on, but it, uhm, you know, it wasn’t like, flashing or anything and so then we like drove around some more, until like, the car wouldn’t stop when we pressed the pedal, so we like pulled over and…”
Did you hit anything? Are you ok? Where’s the car?
“No, yes, in the driveway.”
Good. I’ll be home soon… we can talk about it some more then.
Oh me nerves.
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December 7th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
I suppose a simple, “Dad, sorry, I hit a chunk of ice on my way back from Shoppers, and I think it cut a brake line, but no one is hurt” was too much to ask for.
I once woke my mother up in a hurry by starting a late-night phone conversation with, “First of all, everyone’s fine.”
December 8th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
and the end result is???????
December 8th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Cindy: Ian had it right. He cut a brake line, no one was hurt, and it WAS too much to ask that he simply state it that way.
I explained to him that getting straight to the end result is the best approach, then getting into the details as necessary. My heart almost stopped with the first line.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
the Joys of Fatherhood
December 10th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Spoken like a true mother!
December 10th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
Sounds like another excuse for Shelly and I not to get that bottle of red wine we were promised!!!
Well.. uhm Sis, it’s like this … uhm you see you remember your nephew …. uhm the one who just got his licence ….. wel uhm he had a little accident ….yes everyone is ok but uhm… I have some minor repairs to do on the car and uhm… don’t think I can afford to give you that bottle of wine I PROMISED!!!
You’re the best, Sis …… I knew you’d understand but just one question ….. what’s a smart girl like you doing with a guy like Craig?!?! Wait, don’t answer that …. I don’t think I want to know!!!!!
December 11th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Well, the good thing is he was ok…and I am sure that for his next car incident he will do better about getting to the point.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Shelly, you really shouldn’t be signing Craig’s name to your questions. It’s ok to come right out and say you are smarter than Craig. (He probably won’t understand it anyway…
Oh, and get over the whining about the wine!! I never really promised the freakin’ thing in the first place!
For all you other folks out there reading Craig’s incessant ploys, post after post, for a free bottle of wine, here’s how it went down: My darling wife and I went over to visit my sweet sister. The conversation was warm and loving until Craig walked in full of macho attitude and carrying fish and chips for two. (What a romantic guy!) We told them to go ahead and eat it, but Craig was afraid he’d have to share so they “politely” said they would wait until we left. We took the hint, and on our way out the door, Craig says “Hey, why don’t you go to the liquor store and bring us back a bottle of pinky.” I said, ” Pinky? You cheap bastard! If I was to come back, I’d be carrying an expensive red wine, but since you won’t share a piece of fish, I think I’ll go buy that wine and drink it myself.” Craig said, “Great! See you in 30 minutes.” (Side note: Shelly, what’s a smart girl like you doing with Craig?!?!?) My response was, “Yeah right… Hold your breath and we’ll be right back!”
I think he was waiting, corkscrew in hand, for three hours. Poor Craig.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
Let me clear this up without gettin’ my wonderful brother in trouble….
Steve… Craig made a bet with you… it was more like a… do this and I’ll get you a bottle of red… now it is not something I can get into here on the world wide web…. but suffice it to say… you owe a him… ahem… us a bottle of red.
`
As for the scampers…. damn it was good! Thank God I didn’t have to share!!!
Now… I know you owe us red but you have been bitching about the fish and chips since you left… so I will provide a nice white and buy you some fish and chips over Christmas… maybe then you boys will move on to something else!!!
Loves ya bro. xoxo
December 13th, 2007 at 8:59 am
HE started it.
December 17th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Did not!!
December 17th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Did TO!