Nov 06 2007
Mistake? I’m such a boob!
“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.” Al Franken.
I’ve learned something over the last couple of days. Actually, I’ve learned several things. I’ve learned that you can really piss people off if you give any hint of an opinion to either side of a controversial social issue; I’ve learned that people are very passionate about their views on those issues and will argue their points supporting them even if the discussion does not directly involve said issue; I’ve learned that you can disappoint people because of those views; I’ve learned that making a casual statement supporting one side of certain issues spurs others to believe you are passionately standing on that issue.
My last posting was about some news items and blog postings that had caught my eye that day. The web-cam image in my sidebar had the typical RDF weather conditions in St. John’s and struck me as blogworthy. A couple of CBC News feed stories perked my senses, one about a St. John’s woman treated unjustly by a Universal Studios employee because she was breastfeeding her child in a public area of the them park and another story about Ottawa’s plans to impose heavy fines on smokers who smoke within 30 feet of a bus stop. Finally, I read a blond joke that I hadn’t heard before. (Insert double-take here… HOLD the phone Steve… back up a couple of sentences.)
Did I type the word “breastfeeding”? Uh oh. Steve! You are such a moron!
Take this post as kind of a qualified retraction of my opinion. Firstly, I’m not that passionately opinionated about the issue of publicly displayed breastfeeding. I have been witness to it on several occasions in my lifetime. It attracts neither disapproval nor matter-of-fact approval from me. It does attract the same kind of curious, looking-out-of-the-corner-of-the-eye whisper-to-your-companion kind of attention as would a homosexual couple openly displaying their mutual affection in public. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (Ok, I’m not gay-bashing, I’m just saying… oh, no… am I digging another hole?) It’s simply not ubiquitous enough to blend into the background unnoticed.
The real point I so poorly attempted to make was that folks should not be offended about others noticing you doing something that challenges the currently established social or cultural norm. For example: Yesterday, living together outside the sanctity of marriage was considered “living in sin”. Today, marriage without this “test drive” is uncommon. So, yesterday, it might have been common for people to have been met with social pressure or criticism for shacking up outside of wedlock. Today, it’s met with a shrug. No big deal. Yesterday it would have been unreasonable to expect premarital cohabitation to be accepted outright. Today it would be unreasonable to be morally questioned for the exact same thing.
This young lady was simply doing the natural thing. She was providing her child with life-giving nourishment in the way that biology intended. It would be hard to argue that she wasn’t doing what was best for her child. But… and there is a but… she did so in a city that was not her own, in a country that she was a guest in, in a culture that is not openly accepting of this oh-so-natural act of love. While it is arguable that the Universal Studios employee was being unreasonable in her stance (this is evidenced by the public apology issued by the company), it is equally arguable that it was unreasonable for this lady to expect that what she did would be automagically accepted by all who observed her behaviour.
So, ladies… feed you children to your heart’s content. Line them up two by two and sell tickets to the show. Sell the extras to Tim Horton’s and Cracker Barrel for all I care. Unless I feel strongly about it, you’ll not see me write about this anytime in the near future. I’ll keep my posts benign and limited to non-controversial topics like genetic engineering, stem cell research, religion in schools, religion in general, vegetarianism, affirmative action, capital punishment, right-to-life, the seal hunt, corporal discipline, cloning, gun control, circus animals, euthanasia, censorship, hunting, sex education, gambling, and whether Miller Lite has great taste or is less filling.
Welcome to my Web Blah... er, Blog.
November 6th, 2007 at 2:21 am
Something funny… not funny ha-ha, but funny interesting.
A lady I spoke with today was disappointed in my views regarding breastfeeding. She thought I was opposed to it, and was particularly interested in why there was such an issue around doing it in public. What was I against exactly? The exposed breast, or feeding the child? She went on to explain that she breastfed her child, but she DID refrain from doing so around her 11 year old step-son. “Why?” I asked. “Because he was only 11 and wasn’t used to seeing that kind of thing.”
My point EXACTLY!!!
November 6th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
There’s a whole shitload of natural things that aren’t acceptable in public. Being so passionate about public breastfeeding is like being passionate about fucking in a park or shitting on the street. Unless the woman walks around topless before she was breastfeeding, then it’s not ok to suddenly start exposing herself when she is.
I think people who are for it are focusing on the “feeding”, cause hey, the baby just CAN’T get fed in any other way! or something. People who are against it are focusing on the breast, mostly cause if they’re feeding that way then they’re all stretched out and udderly revolt people.
Your lady friend’s a retard.
November 6th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
So Pender… how do you really feel?
The point of this post is that I’ll save my “passionate debate” energy for things that I’m passionate about. For this, I’m firmly planted on the fence…
November 6th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
One night when I was working (waitressing) I walked up to a table consisting of a husband, wife and a 2 year old. As I approched the table, who had JUST arrived, I noticed that the wife was breastfeeding her 2 year old. To be honest, it made me uncomfortable, and I found myself making awkward eye contact, and trying to avoid looking at the wife, so I looked at the husband for the most part, while asking for drink orders. The man and woman ordered their drinks, and since I figured the 2 year old already “had a drink” provided, I didn’t ask what she wanted. So, as I went to turn around and walk away, the lady said, and here’s the ironic part, “Oh, and she(the 2 year old) will have some milk.” (Oh, she must be getting juice from your boob, my mistake…Hahahahaaa!)
Anyway, my point is, as natural as people would like to say breastfeeding is; a boob is exposed in the public eye. And if there is “nothing wrong” with that, then why do television shows that will only show a quick flash of a womens breast, advise parents to use viewer discretion? ALSO, in my opinion, why wouldn’t the mother just breastfeed in the car or go to the bathroom before she sat down at a table, in front of everyone? Regardless of what kind of statement breastfeeders are trying to make, there are going to be people who are uncomfortable with your boob being almost fully exposed with a baby on it…and I doubt that breastfeeders would be made to feel uncomfortable doing their business in a more discrete fashion. So, they should accept that and go hide away.
November 6th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
When I saw your post about this yesterday, I just popped some popcorn and waited for the fireworks. You can’t please anyone with this debate.
My thoughts as a mom who breast fed: Cripes, I have seen more T&A on magazine covers at the grocery store than I have ever seen on a woman feeding her kid. Believe it or not, that is was breasts are for, not to hold up a strapless dress, not to be oggled, but to feed babies. It is put there for a reason.
Having said that, when you are out in public, because some folks are uncomfortable, just try to fed the little one as modestly as possible. It will save you hassle, the child being interupted and upset, and poor bloggers like yourself from stepping in it!
November 6th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
So… you felt awkward. As, I’m sure, did many other patrons. The older the child, the more awkward the feeling, like it or not. I’ve heard stories about kids five years old latching on like a (insert strong visual metaphor here). Reverse the question: Is it right for these people to impose their “rights” on others, even if it makes them feel uncomfortable? By definition, yes; by courtesy and by culture, no.
Until such a time when it becomes acceptable, commonplace, and matter-of-fact, these people should not be surprised when folks like you are feeling awkward in those situations.
November 6th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Man, you’ve started quite the discussion, Steve.
> Regardless of what kind of statement breastfeeders are trying to make
I doubt most breast-feeders are wanting to make a statement; they just want to be able to feed their kid. Some women aren’t shy about it, some are, like some women wear shirts that all about cleavage (bless you) and some don’t. It seems to be more acceptable for a woman to be scantily clad than breast-feed in public. Odd.
And breast-feed kids do drink other liquids besides human milk.
November 6th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
2 years old…wow, that is quite late….most people stop before the age of 1.
November 6th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Yeah… I didn’t put up the second post to milk the issue.
It’s important for intelligent debate to focus on the message and not the choice of words. We are not politicians with writers and advisors, so the words may not read as well as they sound as we type them.
So a statement of “regardless of what kind of statement breastfeeders are trying to make” should be taken in context. It really means, in spite of how or why people choose to assert their rights, freedom, privileges, or pride they should be accepting, tolerant and even considerate of others potential reactions.
This discussion wouldn’t be “quite a discussion” if there weren’t elements of challenging and changing the accepted norms, regardless of how unjust or unfair or unreasonable folks may think (or know) it is.
November 6th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
… and you HAVE to admit, asking for a glass of milk for the child DOES have an element of humour.
November 6th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
> most people stop before the age of 1.
I don’t know if that’s true. My children have been breast-fed until around age 3.
Yes, I haven’t touched a non-lactating breast for over… 8 years.
November 6th, 2007 at 6:40 pm
In reply to Jody saying that breast-fed children do not drink anything other than human milk…
I don’t necessarily believe that to be true in all cases, obviously since I have witnessed it. Why do you think she ordered a cup of milk for the 2 year old? Did you mean that they SHOULDN’T drink anything other than human milk, or were you generally speaking?
November 6th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Oh, and when I used the word ’statement’ in my first comment, it had nothing to do with the women being all, “I am woman, hear me roar!” What I meant was that, we are now being told: YES, breastfeed wherever, whenever; you’re feeding a child, it’s natural, etc. So some people take that and run with it. However, no matter how much that would be great in a perfect world to breastfeeders, the fact that it is uncomfortable and awkward for a big slice of the public cannot be disregarded. That’s all I meant!
Jody, you are fun…I like you!
November 6th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Melissa… well said in your last comment.
For your second to last comment,however, Jody had said children DO drink other liquids besides milk. He didn’t say DO NOT.
November 6th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
The breast is, indeed, meant to feed children. I don’t know who sexualized and shamed it, but I’ll go out on a limb and blame religion, even Catholicism specifically since it seems to fit their history.
I saw an interesting documentary on breasts once, it was on Bravo or something. As a young teen, I stopped flipping at once because, well, naked breasts! But after 30 minutes or so of watching it, the excitement had subsided and it became “normal” to seeing exposed breasts. Desensitized in less than an hour, welcome to my generation.
Point is, both males and females should be able to walk around naked if they so choose. For the sake of hygiene, yes, some cover-up is recommended. But until the prudes and religious freaks truly appreciate God’s work, then this natural act will continue to be frowned upon.
November 6th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
Oh. Well, I knew that Steve. Hahahahaaaa!
November 7th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
why is it always the ugly ones with saggy, veiny boobs that are breastfeeding in public? You never see the hot ones!
November 7th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Chris, Chris, Chris. We’re trying to have a serious conversation here at the pensive, somber, serious weblog known as “OH Me Nerves!”
I think it’s because silicone is not good for the child’s digestive system.
But does it matter? I think it was comedian Ron White that said “Once you’ve seen one woman nekked, you pretty much wanna see the rest of the nekked.”
November 10th, 2007 at 3:07 am
this one was the most fun so far. sorry guys I’m new to the forum. ladies, do what ever is necessary to raise the children.