Until someone loses a foot.
Picture this. Last weekend; block party; booze; music; booze; trampoline; booze; my wife’s twin sister. No, it’s not what you are thinking… (I didn’t realize how that last sentence would read until I wrote it.)
My sister-in-law decided that it would be fun to regress thirty or forty years and bounce around on a trampoline. Ladies out there, (I never thought I’d say this, but I will) don’t drink and bounce. It’s not safe.
The picture of Deb’s foot was not; I repeat NOT; digitally enhanced. This is what the elephant man’s foot looked like. It was painful. It was embarrassing. It was hilarious.
But that’s not the funny part.
Deb went to the hospital, got the broken bones set in a cast, and
returned to the party. She attempted to go to work after the weekend and couldn’t handle it. She returned to the hospital and they decided that they needed to operate to set the bones (notice the plural) surgically. So, after staying overnight, getting surgery, staying overnight again, they decided they were going to release her. So, she gets dressed, packs her stuff and is ready to go. She simply needs to wait for her release papers. Now, this sister-in-law of mine, the same sister-in-law who, under the influence of alcohol and peer pressure thought it would be a good idea to try out a trampoline, got bored waiting for the hospital staff to administer her release papers. She decides that she would pass the time away by tidying up around her hospital bed. She takes a water glass, hops on one foot to the sink to dump it, decides that the nurse might think it was a bad idea for her to hop around without her crutches, turns around to get her crutches, loses her balance and falls down, injuring her other foot.
(Pause while readers roar with laughter.)
It’s not funny. Ahem… I mean really… it’s NOT funny. Sorry Deb, I can’t say it with a straight face.
Get well soon.
Donna
September 21, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Sooooo, who is the stund twin, hmmmm, can’t be me, never broke a bone in my life and don’t intend to.
“Life is Good” Deb, suck it up for all it’s worth. Omigosh, you wont’ be able to get around to do laundry, make meals, clean house, etc, etc…phew, this is startin’ to sound better and better…
Enjoy it, (cause it will only last for the next few months)… Hey, don’t worry about the gym, catch up later with that, just enjoy watching everyone else take over your duties at home…
Nadine
September 22, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Oh wow, and I thought I was a clutz! Hope she is feeling better.
Ronnie
September 23, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Actually, you’re right Steve, it’s NOT funny. Sure she’s either lying around with two casts on her feet or hobbling around with her walker, both of which deserve a little a little chuckle… then an all out laughing fit when you leave the room. However, she also spends quite a bit of her time calling out, “Ron, do this! Ronnie, do that! Melissa, do my hair!” Trust me, it’s NOT funny.
Jamie
September 24, 2007 at 8:15 am
That’s not funny. She is going to have a hard time doing laundry and cooking supper while holding crutches.
“Just kidding”
Steve
September 24, 2007 at 8:37 am
Notice the quotes around Jamie’s just kidding comment?
The opinions expressed by the readers of this blog do not necessarily reflect those of the author. Any offensive, degrading comments, while funny and entertaining, are not necessarily condoned or encouraged by the author of this blog. [wink, wink. keep'em coming folks!]
Deborah
September 24, 2007 at 3:04 pm
You guys are funnier than the my injured (broken) feet…lol For one thing I am not calling out to anyone anymore than I usually do, and I don’t think that is a lot. I am surviving this lifechange for now. I plan to have my gym mat laid out in the mornings, so I can keep active, and I have work brought home to do, so I can keep my intelligence. I do have to say though I don’t miss doing the laundry and cooking, but I would much rather do that than what I am doing now.
Deborah
September 24, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Steve…I know the author would never make comments like these people…are they your friends?…lol
Steve
September 24, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Friends? I don’t have any friends…
Let’s see… there’s my cousin, and one of my “on-line” blogger friends. The others are your son, your twin sister, you and me.
Oh… just so you don’t keep me up too high on that pedestal, I’m enjoying every snicker, jeer, and semi-heartfelt condolence issued your way! Between you and your twin sister falling down, it’s like you are Siamese twins joined at the middle ear, separated at birth!
Melissa
October 1, 2007 at 6:10 pm
It’s not funny…the sound of someone saying my very own name is starting to annoy me. This whole experience has helped me learn something about myself, I am not a nurturer, by ANY stretch of the imagination. I’m starting to think that my plan to have a cook, maid and a nanny “when I grow up” is the smartest thing I ever though of.
It’s not funny…it was, but not anymore
Steve
October 2, 2007 at 8:35 am
Yeah Melissa… I like your plan to have a cook, maid and nanny on staff. But your plan is missing one thing…. MONEY!
Melissa
October 2, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Steve, that goes hand-in-hand with the whole plan, obviously. Hense why I am going to school as I wait for the 98 year old billionaire…you always need a plan B…Hahahaahahahhaa!!!!