Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Anitdisestablishmentarianism.
Alex, the question is: what are the three longest freakin’ words I thought I’d never use, especially not all in the same post?
Yesterday I was the victim of a uvulopalatopharyngoplasty, also playfully known as UPPP. This, simply put, is a medical procedure for removing excess tissue from the back of the throat. About 4 or 5 years ago I started to develop a very loud, persistent snore; loud and persistent enough that I feared that some night my darling wife might decide to use my own pillow as a murder weapon against me. Apparently, while I sleep away, she lies awake contemplating and planning ways to make my death look like an accident. No, I’m not being paranoid, she has come right out and told me that while she loves me by day, she hates me by night.
So, I agreed to go see a doctor about it. After weighing several options, including wearing contraptions on my head that keep a positive air pressure in my mouth and nose, keeping a device in my mouth to push my jaw forward, separate bedrooms, death, divorce or surgery, we decided that I would brave the knife and have a hunk of flesh removed from the back of my throat. The piece of flesh is the flesh around that dangly thingy at the back of the throat. (Incidentally, this was my second favourite dangly thingy. If my first favourite starts making too much noise, I’m afraid I’ll have to choose death or divorce.) Several potential side effects include a change of my voice (more nasal), snoring that actually gets worse, trouble getting food down the right pipe, or simply going through a lot of pain and suffering for no noticeable improvement. The doctor told me that over the next three weeks my snoring will appear worse due to swelling and the true end result won’t be known until six weeks has passed.
So, for now, all I can do is drink my shooters (an elixir concocted of grape flavoured liquid Tylenol, mint flavoured codeine, and banana flavoured antibiotic). Yawn… I’m tired. I think I’ll snooze on the couch. ZZZZZZZZZZ.
rekounas
September 8, 2007 at 6:55 am
You should add a WAV sound file to this post of you pronouncing those 3 words.
Now, no cheating, is this a real word?
paraskavedekatriaphobia
Donna
September 8, 2007 at 6:24 pm
The Doctor appears to be right about the snoring gettin’ worse , hopefully he is right that it will be no longer than 3 more weeks. Oh and by the way, he forgot to mention that you are on the couch tonight Baby…
Steve
September 9, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Oh, my achin’ back!
Nadine
September 10, 2007 at 9:43 am
Let me know how it works. I will be packing my mate off to do the same. Hope you are feeling ok.
Nadine
September 10, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Here is hoping you feel better, and that you never again post a picture of yourself which gets that close to your tongue!
Steve
September 10, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Nadine, be thankful I wasn’t getting vasectomy!
Paul
September 11, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Well it would have given you an excuse to get the macro lens out!
Steve
September 11, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Ouch!
Shelly
September 12, 2007 at 9:54 am
So how you doing bro???
Donna, if he keeps it up – just use your pillow as a buffer…. stop pressing down when the noise stops.
Steve
September 12, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I’m doing fine sis. At least until Donna decides to take your advice! Thanks a heap!
Steve
September 13, 2007 at 9:39 pm
I just discovered that, for some reason, a few posts from Nadine and Rekounas were marked as spam! I’ve since freed your comments folks!
Greg: I cheated, paraskavedekatriaphobia means the fear of Friday the 13th. Good word though!
Nadine: were you really on the Decorating Challenge?
Craig
September 14, 2007 at 8:42 am
I said it before and I’ll say it again …. “Donna, you must be a Saint”! Fortunately for Steve, unfortunately for you, in order to maintain your “Sainthood” the act of murder is a no no! Although you may be benefitting the whole of mankind by reducing the levels of noise pollution you would also be inflicting upon it a great injustice as this blog would cease!!! Who would we have to make us laugh, make us cry, take out our frustrations on and generally shit all over?
Now that I think about it I still haven’t received that bottle of red wine …… may I suggest you wait until he is in a deep sleep then take your pillow and gentle place it over his face……..
Just joking Steve, drugs work much better!
Craig
Steve
September 14, 2007 at 8:46 am
I had to read Craig’s comment twice. I couldn’t tell if he was complimenting me or coercing my wife into committing murder.
Craig… we are likely visiting this Christmas… We’ll bring the wine, you bring the Scampers.
Craig
September 14, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Both!!!
Deal.
John
January 31, 2008 at 2:24 pm
My Doctor is pushing the surgery also. I discovered this blog and noticed it suddenly stopped. If you were not smothered with the pillow what is the impression of the surgery five months later?
Steve
January 31, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Ha! No, I was not smothered with a pillow! Actually, my wife sleeps with me again. The operation was a resounding success. I do still occasionally snore, if I’m really tired, or I’ve had a few swallies, but a nudge (or kick) from da wife stops it. Even though I know it doesn’t work for everyone, I still recommend it since it worked for me.
Good luck, John. If you do get it done, drop by and give us an update, will ya?
Mommy
March 6, 2008 at 8:09 pm
My 8 year old suffers from Pediatric Obstructive Sleep Apnea. She has had a tonsilectomy, adnoidectom and uses the CPAP machine nightly and still experiences apneas. Our doctor just ‘signed her up’ for the UPPP……I’m uncertain, she’s just my baby. What are your thoughts and concerns. Thank you.
Mommy.
Steve
March 6, 2008 at 10:04 pm
“Mommy”… in my case, I only had a mild case of apnea but a major case of “making a lot of noise”. So, it’s a little different for me. An 8 year old is still growing and there’s a lot to consider regarding a little growing body. I’m very sorry I can’t offer any advice regarding your situation. I’m just not a qualified source on the subject. Good luck to you and your precious daughter.
Elaine
June 4, 2008 at 7:32 am
Hi folks, I just had the op 2 days ago and have been pleasantly surprised how well I have been feeling. My first meal, 4 hours after returning from theatre was 2 rounds of toast!! I am a diabetic treated by insulin & was allowed home the same day at 6 pm after eating cheese sandwiches for my tea. At the moment my nasal passages seem ‘bunged up’. I had tonsilectomy & adenoidectomy at 26 & am now 48 – hoping this will eventually cure my horrible snoring!!
Steve
June 4, 2008 at 10:13 am
Well, Elaine! Good for you! Good luck… drop back and let us know if it works…
Elaine
July 1, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Hi again – not sure if I’m completely cured of the horrible snoring as I’ve have been told by my family that I still make strange noises. At least I’ve not suffered any problems and am pleased to report that I can actually breath better through my nose these days. Maybe it’s still early days….. though no doubt the ENT specialist will expect an update too when I see him in August.
mike
March 23, 2009 at 7:34 pm
I’m having UPPP surgery in 3 weeks,along with septoplasty and polyps removed.I’m not sure I’m doin the right thing after hearin’ some of the storys out there.How long does the pain last? sounds pretty uncomfortable.are you still doin’ O.K.? I don’t want to have to do it again in a few years……
Steve
March 23, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Mike, the pain lasts for about 6 weeks. The first three weeks are pretty intense. After that it’s just irritating. For me the snoring comes and goes. I’m at a borderline weight right now. If I lost ten pounds, I wouldn’t snore at all unless I was REALLY tired or had a few drinks. Either way it’s not nearly as bad as it was. I recommend the procedure.
Lee
August 11, 2009 at 10:58 am
What a great site. I just found out I have sleep apnea which is causing me to snore. The doc says I’m a good candidate for this surgery and I’m hashing it over. From the sounds of things, it’s worth the pain…
Steve
August 11, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Well good luck to you Lee. Feel free to drop back and let us know how things are going.
Steph
September 10, 2009 at 12:46 am
Steve,
Thanks for the valuable blog. I am getting the procedure done tomorrow. Will let you know how I feel and if it works for me
as soon as I am able to write a review.
Steph
Steve
September 13, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Well… good luck to you Steph. I hope it works!
Steph
September 21, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Sorry for the delay in posting how the surgery went. Had surgery last Thursday (a week ago) and one week later, everything
is almost back to normal. Had soar throat for couple days, took it easy, drank lots of fluid and now I am back eating solid
foods. If you have any doubt about the surgery, put them aside and get it done. The minimal amount of pain which you will
experience after the surgery is nothing compared to what you will gain from it. I have been able to sleep without my CPAP
which is a beautiful thing.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If you are in Ontario and looking for a good surgeron to do the procedure, I
woud be more then happy to refer you to the specialist who did my surgery as he is the best.
Good luck!
Steve
September 21, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Sounds like your experience was similar to mine. I’m glad it worked and I’m glad you dropped back to let us all know how it went.
jessikill
October 14, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I am having one on November 5th. I am not looking forward to it.
jessikill
October 14, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I am also in Ontario. Dr. Jeff Werger at Markham Stouffville Hospital will be my surgeon…eep!
Steve
October 14, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Good luck to you Jess. Feel free to drop back and let us know how it went!
Brent
November 11, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Going in next Wednesday myself (Also Ontario here). It’s been a few months on the waiting list but a spot just opened up. Thanks for the comments from all others and I’ll do my best to relay my experiences after the surgery!
Steve
November 12, 2009 at 9:54 am
Good luck to you Brent! Looking forward to hearing back from you.
Jan
January 5, 2010 at 12:50 am
Thank you so much for these comments. I am scheduled to have this next month and was really doubting it. Not only can you hear me snore from across the hall but I can feel the tissue in the back of my throat when I slouch and deffinately when I lie down. I had a dream I was choking on gum last week. I am looking forward to being tissue free and maybe losing a couple of pounds in the recovery.
Steve
January 5, 2010 at 8:47 am
Drop back, Jan, and let us all know how it went.
Jess
January 30, 2010 at 3:49 pm
So I had it done 3 days ago. Adenoids, Tonsils and Uvula. I pretty much want to die and the only thing keeping me going are the three GIANT bottles of liquid morphine in my fridge.
Question, when does the burnt taste go away? That’s the worst.
Jess
January 30, 2010 at 3:51 pm
I am the same as the jessikill up above. I was supposed to have it done Nov 5, but I caught H1N1 instead.
Steve
February 1, 2010 at 8:52 am
I didn’t experience the burnt taste. I’m guessing your doctor used a laser technique. Mine was simply cut and stitched.
Jess
February 3, 2010 at 2:54 am
No. The burnt is from the cauterization of my tonsils. I am just 100% miserable and want to drink gallons of water and I can’t because it hurts like hell.
Day 6 today, was VERY happy when I got a whole jar of baby food and a glass of water in, all in ONE day.
He did not use LA-UPPP, which has an even worse success rate than regular UPPP which on it’s own uses the hope and dreams of fairies and unicorns.
Sorry, I’m miserable and bitter right now because I’m thirsty and hungry and everything hurts.
Steve
February 3, 2010 at 9:15 am
Oh, I understand, Jess. For me, the pain lasted three weeks, almost to the day. Good luck…
Pender
February 3, 2010 at 9:19 am
I’m officially talked out of it, thanks jess!
dartman360
February 14, 2010 at 1:34 am
omg
dartman360
February 14, 2010 at 1:37 am
just had this done last week whats the problem everything went well,
Jan
February 18, 2010 at 1:11 am
Well I had it done on the 3rd of February. I was absolutely miserable for a week and a half. Now just a bit sore. Somethings don’t bother at all, toast potato chips, all good. Bananas and potatoes hurt and irritate must be the potassium. I had a friend deliver Egg Flower soup and it was the best thing I ever had. Ask for extra mushrooms, they will fill you up. I lost about 6 pounds but already gained 2-3 back. Dr. said I should not have taken Ibuprophen – definitely take two vicodin at a time. Do not lift anything heavy. I found sipping hot tap water felt very good and filled me up lots. Milk some but also hurt sometimes. I love the fact I don’t snore and breathe easier. Pills don’t even dare try to get stuck.
Jan
March 19, 2010 at 1:16 am
I liked this page to a Facebook page I created where people can ask questions and discuss the operation. I hope you don’t mind.
Steve
March 19, 2010 at 11:33 am
Sure, no problem!
Jess
April 27, 2010 at 10:48 am
So it’s now April and 3mths to the day since the surgery.
It was a HORRIBLE experience that I do not wish on my worst enemies, but I am better for having done it.
I lost about 15lbs (gained back though) I did not consume as much liquids as I should have, I recommend trying to think past the pain and just drink, you need it.
Tea and broth were very helpful, tea dries you out a bit so maybe hot water is best. GET A HUMIDIFIER, trust me you do NOT want to wake up with a dry throat, especially if you mouth breathe like I do.
I took the morphine for about 8 days, after that I just couldn’t take the itch anymore and I didn’t really need it.
Jan is right, NO PILLS, I made a cocktail out of my morphine and my liquid childrens Tylenol and just shot it back that way it was one instead of 2 things to trickle down.
Ibuprophen can cause bleeding, so don’t take any form of it.
The pain that causes you to lie in bed and die lasted about 10 days for me, after that it was just yawning that caused any real discomfort.
I DID NOT smoke during recovery at all, don’t do it, if you can quit you should try. I went out to the bar after about three weeks and had a couple beers, then smoked…wish I had just stuck with it because now I’m smoking again.
The only lasting effect I have found that is a little annoying is that I choke in liquids and my own spit…a lot, sometimes I think that’s mostly psychosomatic because you do over think when you eat and drink.
Pender: Don’t let my experience send you the other way, at the end of the day I no longer snore, I sleep better (as does my fiance) and haven’t contracted a single cold/death plague since, which normally I catch EVERYTHING.
It’s absolute BALLS but it’s worth it.
Steve
April 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Thanks for dropping back Jess.
The choking on water and your own spit is not psychosomatic. I find chewing gum especially challenging! …and it’s amore than 2.5 years later.
Jess
May 7, 2010 at 1:24 pm
I seem to be OK with gum.
But I did just choke on the liquid from Sour Sweet Tarts. People in my office think I’m nuts.