I posted an amalgamated happy-events-and-well-wishes post a week ago and haven’t been back since. I created that post to derail an apparent pattern that was developing… all my posts were regarding my desire to send well wishes to my friends and family who were celebrating a special event in their lives. Since then, I haven’t posted a friggin’ thing. So, I replaced the monotony of incessant birthday wishes with the monotony of nothing. All part of my master plan to expand my readership and eventually sell the rights to ohmenerves.com to Microsoft.

But, that’s just not good enough, now, is it? So, I figured I’d find inspiration in one of the most important events in my life. Nine years ago today, my wife and I got married in our back yard. So here it is, nine years later and we are… well, apart. No, we’re not split up. We are very much happily married, but we are 913.4 miles apart. She left yesterday to go to St. John’s. There, she lounges around eating bonbons and drinking Mint Juleps while I stay here in Moncton, toiling away at my job and paying the bills. So, I ask you, is life fair? Nope! Actually, when we booked her flight, neither one of us gave any thought to the fact that she would be flying out the day before our anniversary.

So, I called her yesterday from work to see if she made it there safely. Here’s how the conversation went…

me: Hey baby… how was your flight?
she: Oh good. Do you miss me yet?
me: Yes, of course I do. I miss you lots.
she: Well, actually, how can you miss me already? You haven’t gone home from work yet.
me: Yeah, but I know you won’t be there when I get there.
she: No, I’m only going for groceries.
me: Huh?!? I meant that I miss you cuz I know you aren’t going to be home when I get there.
she: We are only going out for groceries, I’ll be back right after that.
me: I get the distinct feeling that you aren’t listening to me.
she: What was that?
me: I said, I think you must be distracted there. Are you?
she: Uhm… say again?
me: I said, I miss you.