Well, sometimes it doesn’t pay to get up in the morning.

I thought I had it all together. I got up on time (a new development for me!), leisurely got ready for work, and wandered out to the car. I had a case of pop in my van that I was forgetting to bring in to work to stock up my fridge that I FINALLY remembered. I moved it to my car, which I hadn’t driven for a few days. Gas prices went up last night by about 7 cents a litre. Oh, I hope there’s gas in the car. Oh, good, three quarters full. Next, on to Tim Horton’s for a coffee. The line is long. Oh, what the heck, I’m a little early today. The line moved quickly and I was on my way. Got to work. As I gathered up the case of pop and my coffee and walked across the parking lot, I hoped someone would be there to “scan me in”. Lucky me, someone going in the same time as me. I walked down the hallways. Good morning. G’Day. How are you? I entered the atrium where a large wooden staircase winds up the middle. It is built on a steel frame that goes to the second floor. At the best of times, footsteps resonate through the immediate area. I can tell you though, that “resonate” doesn’t do the sound justice when a 200+ pound man trips on the third step going up and trips again on every step after that trying to catch his balance while trying not to drop the case of Pepsi or spill his precious coffee finally ending up face down on the landing mid-way up the staircase having not accomplished any of the three goals he had in mind when he started his upward tumble. Clunk, “oh”, clank, “shit”, clink, crash, gurgle, “ouch”, boingngngng. So, there I was, sprawled out on the landing, coffee spilling all over, case of Pepsi upended (luckily the case didn’t break open), the sound of the staircase humming like a tuning fork. It’s hard to look cool when you’ve just awaken a dozen people looking down at you cleaning up spilled coffee with paper towels from the bathroom. Hey Steve, are you ok? First day with the new feet? Better wait before you open those Pepsi! Must be a drag to spill your coffee. Not to mention… Ha ha ha! Look at that knob falling up the stairs everybody!

Luckily, my back survived the ordeal. My ego is crushed beyond immediate repair.