Kids say the darndest things…

Recent conversations:

My neighbour and I recently hooked my trailer to my van and went to the dump with a load of garbage. The conversation upon our return went like this:
Rennie: Hey, Donna must have gone out.
Me: I don’t think so.
Rennie: Then where’s your van?
Me: You’re sitting in it.
Rennie: (silence)

My sister-in-law was telling me on the phone how great my son is doing working at her and her husband’s business. She was telling me that Gerry is teaching Garrett what the things are that they sell.
Mary: Now Garrett will know what a “hammer-lock” is.
Me: Cool! Oh, do you guys sell any “hen-weighs”?
Mary: What’s a “hen-weigh”?
Me: Oh, about two pounds! (I know, I know… it’s an old one. It makes it all the more sweet that it worked!)

So concludes this edition of the official “Oh Me Nerves! Desperate for content” series. Stay tuned tomorrow or the next day for “Top ten reasons why I procrastinate.”

Now that’s how you should use a four-wheeler!!!

My son buried his Uncle Jim’s quad last week. And he buried it gooooood. He and his cousin took the machine up a pole line and on their way back, assumed that this mud hole was the path the followed on the way out… The machine has a 50-foot winch. The nearest tree was 60 feet away. He had to walk 2.5 km out of the woods to humbly ask his uncle to come rescue him…

See more pictures here.

Alright. This one’s been a-brewin’ for a while now.

I’m not a world traveller or anything, but I’ve driven in several cities around North America namely Toronto, Montreal, St. John’s, Detroit, New York, Newark, Fredericton, Halifax, Saint John and, of course, Moncton. I’ve seen crazy drivers, particularly in Montreal. However crazy the Montreal drivers were, they seemed to know what they were doing. But nowhere have I seen a consistent level of poor driving than I’ve seen in and around Moncton.

Here’s my list, just to get it off my chest:

• Line-ups at Tim Horton’s drivethrus. Cars blocking roads and blocking neighbouring businesses are common sights all over town from 7:30 to 9:00 am every weekday. Related to this, I hate when I am waiting in the drive-thru line and some knob comes in from a side entrance and Santa Claus in front of me lets him in!
• Traffic circles. No one knows how to alternate the merge on a traffic circle. And those of us who do know hesitate because too many don’t. Also, to get around this, don’t fly through the right hand lane, bypassing everyone who is waiting, and then force-merge in. It’s dangerous! I do it, but I know what I’m at; you don’t.
• Making right turns. If you are driving a Honda Civic, trust me, you don’t need to swerve left before making a right turn. I wouldn’t lie to you. Your imaginary 5th wheel trailer is guaranteed not to hit the curb.
• Yellow lights. I don’t care if you speed up to make it through, or jam on your brake to stop. But when you poke your nose out waiting for a break to make a left turn, don’t freakin’ stay there when the light turns! You are already out there… finish your turn and get outta the friggin’ way.
• Changing lanes. Don’t just check your mirrors… nuff said.
• Lift the lid when you take a leak at work! Those of us who take a dump at work don’t appreciate it.
• Road rage. It’s normally not a good thing to repress you frustrations. But behind the wheel… keep your sneers, comments, and unfriendly gestures to yourself. Remember… you are driving in Moncton, everyone is a shitty driver, including, most likely, yourself.

There’s more… but my fingers are getting tired of typing. It’s your turn… what pisses you off on the road?

You know, I used to be concerned about content. I even posted about it. But once I spent an evening watching drivel on the tube, I decided I didn’t need to be concerned about content. And life was good.

But that was before my extended family got wind of this site.

You see, they have all read through my posts and have all told me how “entertaining” and “funny” I am. Geeez! Why’d you have to go and say that? Until now, I wasn’t trying, I was just typing shit that came into my head. NOW I have to try to measure up to a standard that I didn’t know I was measuring up to. (You know who you are, do you see what you’ve done to me?!) Now I know why Dave Chappelle ran screaming to Africa.

But then again… what am I so worried about? This blogging thing is supposed to be interactive. It’s supposed to be a two way street. Why aren’t you folks posting comments to these posts? It feeds ideas, it inspires constructive communication, it promotes free speech, it takes the pressure off me to produce content!

So… click the comments link, and let me know what you think.

Hey! I’ve added a photo album…. I’ve integrated Gallery2 into my website to bring you photos of my family’s life. Those of you who are not my family will be totally bored by this, but maybe those of you who ARE my family won`t be completely lulled into subconsciousness.  Check out the Photo Album link in the sidebar.

Enjoy!

Do you remember my last post about a tornado in New Brunswick? Well, I said it was too close for comfort then… ha!

On Friday, on my way home from work, I heard on the radio that there was a tornado warning for my area. A what?!?! Well, a storm rolled in, dropped a shitload of rain along with thunder and lightning. Later on, we heard that a tornado touched down in Cap Pele… just outside of Moncton! My last post was kind of tongue-in-cheek, but…