I was in Detroit this past week on business… fun stuff. One of the highlights of my week was a visit to Starbucks Coffee.

For those who know me well, or even just a little, I am the type of person who sees the world with a sense of humour, and I respond as such. (i.e. I’m a smartass.) I am very impressed when someone catches me off guard with their own smartassousness.

We went into Starbucks (my first time there) and my boss orders a Cafe Latte - no fat. Looking at a sea of latte this, espresso that, I quickly said “what he’s having”. The lady responded, “no fat too?”. I said, “Oh no, regular please.” I turned to my boss and mumbled, “I don’t need to worry about letting myself go, I’m married.” He smiled, but I heard a lady laugh behind the counter, not the same lady that served me.

I said, “You laughing at me?”. “Yes, it was very funny.” Knowing how dry my joke was, I stated, “I appreciate you laughing, but it wasn’t that funny.” She said, “Oh yes it was… you see, I’m divorced.” Puzzled, I responded, “… and?” She said, “I left him because he let himself go to pot!”

Spitting latte out my nose, “Thanks… I’ll take that under advisement!” My next coffee was with skim milk and artificial sweetener.

Knowing how desparate I am for content, my friends at Steel White Table shared with me this interesting piece of technological advancement:

Large plugs? Bring ‘em on!

“We’ve all been there. Charging our cell phone or drying our hair and needing the other electrical outlet that’s eclipsed by that humongous plug. It’s annoying, and frankly, we did something about it.

For the first time in history, the receptacles in your wall outlet can rotate a full 360 degrees to make use of both outlets”

Thanks Jody. I’m not proud. I don’t mind posting stuff on my blog that’s not good enough for yours! After all, your blog IS worth 20,000 dollars.

I was going to blog this topic weeks ago… but just never got around to it.

My friends at Steel White Table posted a video on how to cook toutons. This was a very informal and entertaining video that was a fine (yet slightly inaccurate, despite the presence of a Newfoundlander) tribute to a local delicacy. I responded with a post, offering my personal insight regarding the subtle inaccuracies, and spawned a debate over the use of the term Newfie.

It seems as if many people are passionate about the fair treatment of their fellow human beings, even when those treated unfairly are oblivious that they are contributing to the ridicule and injustices aimed their way. I was overwhelmed at the emotional response the term “Newfie” received. I didn’t necessarily agree with the seriousness of the debate, but I was flattered and warmed by it regardless. Newfoundlanders have been the butt of many jokes, and it is nice to be rejoiced and defended all at once by someone who simply recognizes the contribution Newfoundland culture makes to the world.

Thank you Phillip (seriously). I can’t wait to see your video on how to cook a jigg’s dinner! I promise I’ll not post a comment.

(Just try to avoid tributes to Polish or Pakistani cuisine!)

If you receive an email entitled “Bedtimes”, delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently, this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 1 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the “Bedtimes” message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***

And if you don’t send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you’ll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone!!!THERE’S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you’re on the computer!!!!